This is our first Sunday at 10am again. It's going to take some adjustment to the new routine, but i am quite excited at having a Sunday afternoon again. Church was brilliant. It was testimony meeting and i was really touched by the people who got up, in particular Emma Jane, who spoke about heeding the warnings of the church. She compared it to when the tsunami struck in Japan and how people just leisurely walked about as the fire engines called out for people to evacuate immediately. Are we like that? Ethan was so good in Primary. For months and months he kept saying 'no Henry, no Henry!' and i couldn't work out what he was talking about until it hit me - PRIMARY! Hahahaha! We don't even know a Henry?! It's only now he is saying Primary. Hehe! He's in CTR class now.
We went to Peter and Pauline's for lunch which was nice. I'm making sure that we alternate on the cooking. Jared is mega excited as a good business opportunity has come up that he can work on after he has finished his dissertation. Wahoo!
After dinner, we all headed over to my house to change to go for a walk. I made a big batch of pancake mixture for dinner tonight. We went to an area just off the Breacon road, not really sure what it's called. It looks like a scout area which is being renivated. It was funny! Ethan played hide and seek with Jared and Sam, which went down a treat. Peter and i started to walk back to the car and had a moment. As we watched Pauline, Sam and Jared walk down the hill towards us, he said that as he looks at them together, it feels imcomplete. I couldn't help but feel emotional for him. I ache for Peter and Pauline, knowing that they are in so much pain.
When we got back, i cooked up the pancake mix and we sat together chatting. It was nice to have a good evening together!
Sunday, 8 January 2012
Saturday, 7 January 2012
Mixed bag.
Today started on such a fun note, taking the kids swimming in Cardiff. It was quite busy, but Lily and Ethan loved it! Peter came with us, Pauline and Sam stayed up too late to come with us. I love the pool, but find it incredibly noisy with all the water shoots and sprayers. I didn't stay too long as the water was freezing - i can't seem to find a pool that has warm water? - and Lily was due a feed. She is so placid, looking around her as we swim about. She didn't cry once!
After swimming we headed into town to get some walking boots for Peter. He got a nice pair, it's gutting that they didn't have one selection in my size as it would have been a steal! We then headed straight home to Peter and Paulines. Eleanor was planning to make a visit but had to take a reincheck as they took longer getting out than they thought. I was a little relieved as i was dead on my feet!
When we got back, Jared went to see Sam play, but turned out to be a waste of time. That's why i didn't want to go with him first time round, haha! I went shopping with Pauline where it seemed to be a Mormon day out. It was really busy too. I can't believe that they have started to put out the Easter things. All these Christian celebrations have just become retail targetting, a way to make money. I don't understand how you can be a non practicing Christian. Can i be a non practicing black person? No?! It's stupid! You're either committed or not.
We stayed for dinner before rushing back home. I wanted to get the kids into bed at a decent time. As we were putting Ethan down, the mirror door in his bedroom decided to fall and completely destroy my book case as well as smash! I am so gutted - it's going to cost a load to repair, if it can be. If not, it will probably be a heck of a lot. It kind of threw out our evening a bit, sending both Jared and i into negative moods. So i spent the rest of the evening feeling irritated, blogging and sat next to Jared as he played Zelda.
I think i'm going to bed! On the brightside, Church is in the morning tomorrow :)
Stupid glass mirror!;
After swimming we headed into town to get some walking boots for Peter. He got a nice pair, it's gutting that they didn't have one selection in my size as it would have been a steal! We then headed straight home to Peter and Paulines. Eleanor was planning to make a visit but had to take a reincheck as they took longer getting out than they thought. I was a little relieved as i was dead on my feet!
When we got back, Jared went to see Sam play, but turned out to be a waste of time. That's why i didn't want to go with him first time round, haha! I went shopping with Pauline where it seemed to be a Mormon day out. It was really busy too. I can't believe that they have started to put out the Easter things. All these Christian celebrations have just become retail targetting, a way to make money. I don't understand how you can be a non practicing Christian. Can i be a non practicing black person? No?! It's stupid! You're either committed or not.
We stayed for dinner before rushing back home. I wanted to get the kids into bed at a decent time. As we were putting Ethan down, the mirror door in his bedroom decided to fall and completely destroy my book case as well as smash! I am so gutted - it's going to cost a load to repair, if it can be. If not, it will probably be a heck of a lot. It kind of threw out our evening a bit, sending both Jared and i into negative moods. So i spent the rest of the evening feeling irritated, blogging and sat next to Jared as he played Zelda.
I think i'm going to bed! On the brightside, Church is in the morning tomorrow :)
Stupid glass mirror!;
Friday, 6 January 2012
Odds and Ends.
I have the car today, so it's a massive 'errands running' day! We slept in way after Jared's leaving time for the bus, so i drove him down and back. I picked up the packages that were delivered last week, took a massive bag of recycling to the dump which STANK to high heaven, dropped into treads to see the status of the car and drop the radio off (They are nice, but so slow with sorting anything out!) and i bought a mini radiator for Lilsie's room as it is so drafty in there and cold. When i lifted her last night, her little hands were freezing cold. No wonder she woke up!
When i done all that and got home, it was time for lunch and the run for school. Every single day now Ethan crys about having to go in to school, but as soon as he sees his friends, hes all excited. Little Monkey!
I had to pick Jared up from the bus station not long after - poor Lily had only just gone down for what was going to be a long sleep and i had to lift her.
Jared is going to Seminary tonight, so after he left at 6.20pm, i put the kids to bed and cleaned up, only to have Miss lily not settle all night! There goes my plan to work out! I read the book i made for Ethan about Lily, Philly and Ethan. It's got all the pictures of them in order with an explanation with what we were doing. I got quite choked at the end of reading. I still feel like it will come over me like an explosion, trying to get out. I miss that girl so much and i have to try and not wish my time away here. When i think of my kids and what life would be like for them if i wasn't around, it's horrible. I am so glad that we are all sealed together, for time and all eternity. That is a long time to put up with Jared! Haha.
I spent the evening putting all of the HeyTell messages onto the computer from the ipod using a dictaphone. It was so nice to listen to her voice again. There were parts that i had to hold my breath to stop myself from laughing. And of course when Lily was being noisy. She is so cute!
When i done all that and got home, it was time for lunch and the run for school. Every single day now Ethan crys about having to go in to school, but as soon as he sees his friends, hes all excited. Little Monkey!
I had to pick Jared up from the bus station not long after - poor Lily had only just gone down for what was going to be a long sleep and i had to lift her.
Jared is going to Seminary tonight, so after he left at 6.20pm, i put the kids to bed and cleaned up, only to have Miss lily not settle all night! There goes my plan to work out! I read the book i made for Ethan about Lily, Philly and Ethan. It's got all the pictures of them in order with an explanation with what we were doing. I got quite choked at the end of reading. I still feel like it will come over me like an explosion, trying to get out. I miss that girl so much and i have to try and not wish my time away here. When i think of my kids and what life would be like for them if i wasn't around, it's horrible. I am so glad that we are all sealed together, for time and all eternity. That is a long time to put up with Jared! Haha.
I spent the evening putting all of the HeyTell messages onto the computer from the ipod using a dictaphone. It was so nice to listen to her voice again. There were parts that i had to hold my breath to stop myself from laughing. And of course when Lily was being noisy. She is so cute!
Thursday, 5 January 2012
Adventure Land.
So i did it. This morning i got up before 8am and got the kids up. It was a killer and even now I'm suffering, but it has been worth it. The kids and i were all dressed before 9am and i had done all cleaning chores before 10am. I like getting up early!
Emma Jane picked us up to go to Adventure land, which was fun. Ethan and Maya play so well together. I felt a little dead though, especially as i had very little sleep. It was nice though to spend some time together. Tanya, our mutual friend was there too. Emma Jane kindly ran me to school, we were a little late - i am so rubbish at keeping track of time.
After dropping me at home, i had some lunch before falling asleep on the bed. I am so tired. I have started a new routine with the kids, so i fed Ethan at 4.45pm and put them both to bed at 7pm. Lily woke twice, fed and went back to sleep. Success! It's the first night i have had to myself for a while! So we worked out and watched some Doc Martin before going to bed. Trying to squeeze everything in with no car is so hard. So tomorrow i am off doing a million errands. Now time for sleepsie :)
Emma Jane picked us up to go to Adventure land, which was fun. Ethan and Maya play so well together. I felt a little dead though, especially as i had very little sleep. It was nice though to spend some time together. Tanya, our mutual friend was there too. Emma Jane kindly ran me to school, we were a little late - i am so rubbish at keeping track of time.
After dropping me at home, i had some lunch before falling asleep on the bed. I am so tired. I have started a new routine with the kids, so i fed Ethan at 4.45pm and put them both to bed at 7pm. Lily woke twice, fed and went back to sleep. Success! It's the first night i have had to myself for a while! So we worked out and watched some Doc Martin before going to bed. Trying to squeeze everything in with no car is so hard. So tomorrow i am off doing a million errands. Now time for sleepsie :)
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Arrrrg! Stupid cold carless day!
Today has been a boring day. I just couldn't pull myself out of bed at all to get the kids up, so i slept until they woke up, starting this incredibly vicious circle all over again.
By the time we got up, washed and dressed and fed, we had to catch the bus into town to take Ethan to school. That took ages. After dropping him in (he wasn't too bad with the tears this time) i rushed to the bus stop to get the next one, only for it to drive right past me. The guy that i usually catch is really nice and helps me get the pram on, talks to me and just generally nice. The bus driver this time left too early, sat and read the paper and grumbled about having to get the pram on. It's so cold too! By the time i got home from school, it was after 2pm! It's a good job Peter and Pauline offered to get Ethan for me! I would have been straight out the door in 20 minutes.
Lily fell asleep so i took the opportunity to study. I've started to read the Old Testament this year and i managed to get a good half hour of study and make a soup for tea. Peter and Pauline stopped in for a bit after getting Ethan. She told me that when she got to the door of the school, Ethan came out saying, 'i've got cereal in my house, i have!' Hahahaha! Pauline went to see her class, leaving Peter here to play with Ethan. He was pretty somber today, i don't know if he was having a difficult day. Jared didn't take long to come home. We spent the evening doing different things - me cleaning up, trying to get Lily to sleep and watching One Born Every Minute. I'v started recording Philly's voice onto disc too. I didn't get to work out either, so i am going to bed tonight feeling fat. Jared had to study all evening. So now i'm sat in bed with a wide awake baby after 11pm. I have got to get them all up at 7am tomorrow, for my own sake!
I just want to go to sleep :(
Lily, GO TO SLEEP!
By the time we got up, washed and dressed and fed, we had to catch the bus into town to take Ethan to school. That took ages. After dropping him in (he wasn't too bad with the tears this time) i rushed to the bus stop to get the next one, only for it to drive right past me. The guy that i usually catch is really nice and helps me get the pram on, talks to me and just generally nice. The bus driver this time left too early, sat and read the paper and grumbled about having to get the pram on. It's so cold too! By the time i got home from school, it was after 2pm! It's a good job Peter and Pauline offered to get Ethan for me! I would have been straight out the door in 20 minutes.
Lily fell asleep so i took the opportunity to study. I've started to read the Old Testament this year and i managed to get a good half hour of study and make a soup for tea. Peter and Pauline stopped in for a bit after getting Ethan. She told me that when she got to the door of the school, Ethan came out saying, 'i've got cereal in my house, i have!' Hahahaha! Pauline went to see her class, leaving Peter here to play with Ethan. He was pretty somber today, i don't know if he was having a difficult day. Jared didn't take long to come home. We spent the evening doing different things - me cleaning up, trying to get Lily to sleep and watching One Born Every Minute. I'v started recording Philly's voice onto disc too. I didn't get to work out either, so i am going to bed tonight feeling fat. Jared had to study all evening. So now i'm sat in bed with a wide awake baby after 11pm. I have got to get them all up at 7am tomorrow, for my own sake!
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
Stupid Pug.
The weather today has been terrible. I could hear it beating the window through the night and the devastation seen on TV is so bad - two people have been killed from falling trees. I slept in again as both kiddies were up so much in the night! Tonight is the night Lily is going to go into her own bed!
After getting washed and dressed i drove to the local garage to check on our new Pug as it is blowing cold air. Bad news. There is a leak in one of the main water pipes caused by it rubbing against our newly fitting alternator belt. £103 repair. Boooooooo! I had a good chat with the lady who does the books there. She was a nice lady, cousin to Ann Pollard who works with Pauline. I am going to ring the seller to let him know. It took so long sorting the car that i had to call on Peter to come and take us to school, and i was 10 minutes late! I am hoping that this will be the end of troubles for a little while. I only want this car to last us 6 months so i can do the school run and other fun things with the kids. Ethan was crying when he realised where i was taking him - i didn't feel too bad, as I'd had a gutsful of dealing with his spitting and kicking furniture. Cheeky Monkey! Peter dropped me off home and i continued on with the usual jobs before calling out to Jenny Philips to give me a ride to school. She picked me up while i was walking. What an angel! She had a bad Christmas dealing with her in laws - i don't get what their problem is, but they have a problem. To the point of hurling abuse at her infront of the kids and cutting off the grandkids. They will regret it one day, and then it will alll be too late!
After getting home, i started writing up Lily's weaning plan, printed it off and laminated it to be on the fridge. I'm hoping that she will start to sleep for us with a bit more food in her tummy. At dinner she had some baby rice and a top up of rusk before going to bed. Jared and i both worked out before going to bed ourselves. I like having the house ready to deal with the rush of the morning, so i had all my jobs done. Pauline had a good day back at school i think, it went better than expected. Peter went back into work to see people for the first time since losing Philly. I know he was dreading it, but i think that went a well as it could have. It's such a sad time. I feel so much like i have started to live a different life and everything that i did before her death was a dream. I felt overwhelmed as i sat at the computer with no car, the rain tipping down with strong winds, house a mess and thinking of Philly. Sometimes i wish we knew more than we do about the next life, especially when your loved ones are waiting for you on the otherside.
Anyway, Jared and i are going to have some scripture study together before it gets too late.
After getting washed and dressed i drove to the local garage to check on our new Pug as it is blowing cold air. Bad news. There is a leak in one of the main water pipes caused by it rubbing against our newly fitting alternator belt. £103 repair. Boooooooo! I had a good chat with the lady who does the books there. She was a nice lady, cousin to Ann Pollard who works with Pauline. I am going to ring the seller to let him know. It took so long sorting the car that i had to call on Peter to come and take us to school, and i was 10 minutes late! I am hoping that this will be the end of troubles for a little while. I only want this car to last us 6 months so i can do the school run and other fun things with the kids. Ethan was crying when he realised where i was taking him - i didn't feel too bad, as I'd had a gutsful of dealing with his spitting and kicking furniture. Cheeky Monkey! Peter dropped me off home and i continued on with the usual jobs before calling out to Jenny Philips to give me a ride to school. She picked me up while i was walking. What an angel! She had a bad Christmas dealing with her in laws - i don't get what their problem is, but they have a problem. To the point of hurling abuse at her infront of the kids and cutting off the grandkids. They will regret it one day, and then it will alll be too late!
After getting home, i started writing up Lily's weaning plan, printed it off and laminated it to be on the fridge. I'm hoping that she will start to sleep for us with a bit more food in her tummy. At dinner she had some baby rice and a top up of rusk before going to bed. Jared and i both worked out before going to bed ourselves. I like having the house ready to deal with the rush of the morning, so i had all my jobs done. Pauline had a good day back at school i think, it went better than expected. Peter went back into work to see people for the first time since losing Philly. I know he was dreading it, but i think that went a well as it could have. It's such a sad time. I feel so much like i have started to live a different life and everything that i did before her death was a dream. I felt overwhelmed as i sat at the computer with no car, the rain tipping down with strong winds, house a mess and thinking of Philly. Sometimes i wish we knew more than we do about the next life, especially when your loved ones are waiting for you on the otherside.
Anyway, Jared and i are going to have some scripture study together before it gets too late.
Monday, 2 January 2012
Getting ready for a new year! Woohoo!
I haven't blogged for ages and i feel bad for it! I will catch up though, so watch this space. I slept in for ages this morning. In fact, i felt like i was in a coma. Lily and i didn't wake up till gone 10.30am. Getting in so late last night and not getting to sleep till after 1am two nights on the trot was a killer! Anyway, Jared was so lush he got up with Ethan and did some cleaning jobs for me. When i did finally get up, i got the kids ready and unpacked the mass of stuff from our visit in Cardigan/Telford.
Jared decided to go and work out at his parents while i did the food shopping. There was nothing to eat in the house! I got on the scales too as the diet has started today - i thankfully have only gained about 2lbs. I am determined to get it all off before the end of March. Anyway, i took the kids food shopping and it wasn't too bad. Lily wanted to be held and seeing as she is over a stone now, she is getting heavy! Ethan kept trying to squeeze her hand, perhaps a bit too hard.
When i got home, I unpacked the shopping, made the kids lunch and fed myself (it's gone 2pm and i haven't eaten anything yet!) and Jared comes home. The rest of the day is spent getting ready for tomorrow! Unpacking, tidying, doing the washing..etc. While at dinner, i tried to get Ethan to eat some food. I had made a stir fry and he was adamant that he wasn't going to eat any of it. I pull out a small pack of love hearts and offer him some if he eats some. He was instantly into the food! He is so funny! I gave Lilsie some swede for the first time but i think it was too strong of a taste as she wouldn't eat it. She gobbled up her rusk though!
Peter and Pauline popped in after dinner to say hello. Pauline told me a few people had said that she would have a better year this year, like Philly's passing was easy to leave behind. People are well meaning, but annoying! I feel so much ache for them, knowing the daily struggle they are having to face. They didn't have a good start to the day at all.
I worked out on the treadmill for 30 minutes and while i was in the shower, Sam and his friend popped in to see Jared. I missed them by 2 minutes! It's a good job they didn't come while i was working out ( i tend to do it in my underwear) and that would have been embarrassing! Jared and i didn't spend too much time watching TV before heading to bed. There are so many things i want to fit into my day now that i feel like i have to squeeze so much in.
Jared decided to go and work out at his parents while i did the food shopping. There was nothing to eat in the house! I got on the scales too as the diet has started today - i thankfully have only gained about 2lbs. I am determined to get it all off before the end of March. Anyway, i took the kids food shopping and it wasn't too bad. Lily wanted to be held and seeing as she is over a stone now, she is getting heavy! Ethan kept trying to squeeze her hand, perhaps a bit too hard.
When i got home, I unpacked the shopping, made the kids lunch and fed myself (it's gone 2pm and i haven't eaten anything yet!) and Jared comes home. The rest of the day is spent getting ready for tomorrow! Unpacking, tidying, doing the washing..etc. While at dinner, i tried to get Ethan to eat some food. I had made a stir fry and he was adamant that he wasn't going to eat any of it. I pull out a small pack of love hearts and offer him some if he eats some. He was instantly into the food! He is so funny! I gave Lilsie some swede for the first time but i think it was too strong of a taste as she wouldn't eat it. She gobbled up her rusk though!
Peter and Pauline popped in after dinner to say hello. Pauline told me a few people had said that she would have a better year this year, like Philly's passing was easy to leave behind. People are well meaning, but annoying! I feel so much ache for them, knowing the daily struggle they are having to face. They didn't have a good start to the day at all.
I worked out on the treadmill for 30 minutes and while i was in the shower, Sam and his friend popped in to see Jared. I missed them by 2 minutes! It's a good job they didn't come while i was working out ( i tend to do it in my underwear) and that would have been embarrassing! Jared and i didn't spend too much time watching TV before heading to bed. There are so many things i want to fit into my day now that i feel like i have to squeeze so much in.
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