No time to clean the MESS!

Just a quicky tonight. I still haven't finished yesterday's post! Or Sunday's! I love blogging, but finding the time to do it is hard. Especially with tiny ones around! I was absolutely shattered this morning. Lills woke up at 4.30am for a feed also putting Ethan back in his own bed and then woke again for another feed at 7.00am. I suppose it doesn't help getting to bed after midnight!

I took Jared to the bus station to get to uni. In the mad rush, i only had time to get myself ready, leaving Ethan and Lily in their jammies. Ethan was really upset, he wanted to get dressed! Cheryl had text me to ask if i was going to playgroup, so i got home and got the kiddies ready. Lills just looks to cute after coming out of the bath;

 

Ethan had a great time and Lills slept for most of it. By the time i got home, i only managed to do 20 minutes of room sorting before getting lunch and doing the school run. No resistance from Ethan today :) Huzzah! My Patriachal blessing came today too, wahoooo! I have been desperate to read it again, my copy got lost in one of the house moves.

The house is an absoute mess still. I desperately want to sort it - the OCD in me is screaming so loud right now. I managed to do a little, but Lills is a little fractious from her jabs yesterday. I also shoved a quick casserole in the slow cooker. Who ever bought me that for a wedding gift is awesome.

Ethan came home from school incident free, yey! I wasn't home long before i had to nip out to pick up Jared. The house is still unbelievably messy. We had tea, Jared had Lills so i could carry on with the bedroom. We then went home teaching to Chaise and Sarah Murphy's house to see how they are doing. We are going for dinner next Wednesday. They are a lovely couple - she is expecting her first baby in February and it's a girl!

Peter and Pauline came up afterward to read my Patriachal blessing with us. It's such a massive comfort, especially at this time in our life. They watched some kayaking DVD's while i went back upstairs to sort out the devastation in the bedroom. After a few hours, i managed to restore order again. I have got several boxes of stuff to sell on ebay now too. I managed to clear lots of my clothing out. I imagine when i'm back in shape i can do another clear out again. It is quite liberating!

Anyway, it's almost midnight, i have plenty of packing to do and cleaning before i head up to Telford. Let's hope i get it all done in time!

Lily looking up at me at 11pm, still wide awake!;

There were two in a bed..

Kind of a sleep in this morning - Ethan didn't actually wake up until 8.30, and Lills was still asleep. Yey! I still feel shattered though. Ethan made an appearance in the night. I tend to roll over and notice a little person next to me and Jared no where to be seen - he's gone into Ethan's bed! We got up and ready for about 9.45ish. I planned to take the kids to Gymnastics at the leisure centre while Jared cracked on with his dissertation prep. When we got there, i was told it was cancelled. The lady that does it, Kelly, hadn't been there for weeks as she had some back surgery and needed to recover properly. She has just got back to doing it when her father passed away. He must only be in his late 50's. My heart goes out to her. She is so good with Ethan, especially as hes such a hyper little boy! She seems to be able to channel his energy and get him to LISTEN to her, something i haven't quite conquered yet! So gymnastics is off for two weeks. I took the opportunity instead to go to Tesco and pick up a few bits. It's so funny going, as i can't get a trolley that has a baby seat and a big boy one together as he will really hurt her, so i end up putting her car seat in the main trolley and Ethan in the seat. I have the tiniest bit of room at the front the put things. I suppose it deters me from spending more than i need to! Haha.
I bought some balloons to play with, so i blow up a few for Ethan and tie them up. On the 5th one i accidently let it go and it blew all around the room - I have never seen Ethan crack up laughing so much! He thought it was hilarious! So for the next few minutes i blew them up for him to let go. I had to stop after a while as my head was spinning, flip!
I made him some lunch before we went to school and as i was in the kitchen, he called for both Jared and i to come and see him. We found him like this;

I did nearly have a heart attack as her basket was only just out of sight, but thankfully he didn't do anything to hurt her. He really loves his little sister.
I dropped Ethan off at school and had pre-arranged to go to Paulines house to help her go through the second lot of boxes of Philly's things. It is so hard. I know it's only worldly possessions but they belonged to Philly. Some items i remember her buying, or being with her as she bought them. It just brings home the reality of what we are doing. I took two boxes of stuff home to go through here and keep. She was so spiritual - i never really appreciated how spiritual she was. I feel such a drive to be a better person, to help others out no matter what. The gospel of Christ is what this is all about. Not getting the best car or outfit. I have a greater love for my inlaws than i ever have, and have realised that they are just as important to me as my parents. What a blessing they are in my life.
Before long i had to do the school run. I don't understand it, nearly every time i'm picking Ethan up from school he is dying for a wee by the time we get to the car. I had no option to let him pee by the side of the car. Gross, i know. A bunch of kids saw him too - i just ducked down behind the boot as i put the pram away! Haha.
I started dinner when i got in, fed my little family and started to clear out my maternity clothes out of my cupboard. As Jared is at a course on a Monday, we reserve our Tuesdays for FHE, so we had a little mormon message and lesson on agency. It's hard trying to engage such an active child in a lesson - he was bouncing all over the place! I find it quite frustrating sometimes, especially when it comes to trying to teach him the doctrines of the gospel. Does any of it actually get through?! After FHE, we watched a video on Youtube called, 'you forgot the blueberries.' Jared laughed and laughed. Definitely worth watching!
I have a bit of money coming to me next week and told Jared that he can go ahead and buy the Bass he wants. We pick it up Friday :) Something to keep him going in this hard time and give him some restbite. It's so lovely to see how excited he was!
I'm giving all my maternity clothes to Eve Davies to wear, and as i keep forgetting to bring them i thought i would take them to her house. As i was leaving, Jared and Ethan were about to play a Nerf battle, hense the moving of furniture;

It was so good to see Eve! I love her so much! We can talk for hours and hours and it was so good to talk. Ben was there for a bit too before he went to football. They are such a lovely couple. Eve always makes me laugh my head off, even when i feel so down. I loves her so much;

Peter, Pauline and Sam were just leaving when i got home. I called my mum to have a quick chat to see how everything is going. Rachel has left for uni and is now in a house of 5 girls. Jake leaves for uni on saturday which is perfect- i'm going to Telford for a visit to see the family, i get to see him before he goes. Jared didn't have a nerf battle in the end as Ethan lost his gun. I'm now in bed flagging - time for a quick scripture read before sleepies. :)

Busy Monday.

Jared has his speed awareness course today so i had to have him at the Orbit Centre for 8.45am. Lills wouldn't go to sleep for ages after her feed in the night so i am so tired! I had to force myself out of bed! But i did it, and i got Ethan ready and myself..whoop! I have quite alot of house work to catch up on so that is the theme of this morning - look at only two days of washing;

Lills just chilling in her basket as i get on with it!;

I bought a kit a few months ago where you can make a mould of a fist to keep. I put off doing it with Ethan as i didn't think he was old enough to do it, then completely forgot about it. I found it last week and thought i would give it a shot, seeing as it only cost 60p. I must say, Ethan didn't do too bad at keeping still;

I think i'll go back and get some more if there are any - When Lills is asleep i can do her too! Possible Christmas pressies?? Hmmm... I also managed to study with Ethan his verbs book. His speech is a little slow and he struggles with verbs, so describing what is happening in pictures helps alot. Lills woke up then and wanted some cuddling, so i didn't manage to get much done before school. I hate having a messy house but i'm learning to chill on it a bit more. I have to keep telling myself that it doesn't matter!

After picking Jared up and dropping Ethan at school (he didn't cry too much today!) we nipped in the house for lunch and then drove to Peter and Paulines for a quick visit. We can't lay a headstone at Philly's grave until 6 months have past to let the ground settle, so Pauline bought a little stone that can have flowers placed in them. I totally forgot my camera as it was on charge, but will add some photo's in time. We arranged some fake flowers in the pot - Red and White, as Philly always described her wedding with those colours. It looked lovely. Jared was on his usual kayaking speak. He is so unbelievably desperate to get these kayaks! We hope it will be before Christmas, anything to stop the tyrades of kayak talk! Hahaha.

After getting Ethan from school (it always rains when i do the school run!) we headed up to the cemetry to place the flowers and stone. She is in such a lovely spot, just off the path. The keepers had sprinked some soil and grass seed down over her grave so it looks alot better. I never thought i would say it, but i find comfort going there. We all said we wouldn't go there that much, maybe only on special occasions, if that. I still find it so hard to believe that we are at this point, leaving flowers on her grave when only eight weeks ago she had just come to visit Lily and us. It's just so strange.

When we got back to Pauline's house, Lily was hysterical. I couldn't figure out why when i realised she hadn't been fed in over 4 hours! The poor bubsie! I need to keep better time of feeds - time goes so fast between each feed. I had to stop and feed her there while Ethan tried to get Nanny and Grandad to give him food. Crisps or 'crips', cheese triangles...anything!

I did fajitas for tea. It was yum! Jared helped tidy up the house a bit before heading to his EDCL course for the evening. It's a computer training course that is part of his University course. I always found the thought of dealing with two little ones by myself quite daunting, but i have to say it's really not been that hard, especially with how Ethan has been with Lills - rolling on her, sitting on her, squeezing her arm and the worst, lifting up her head and letting it drop. The poor girl! But i know she will get her own back on him one day. He just loves her to death/serious harm. After the bedtime routine was complete, teeth cleaned and stories read, Ethan was out for the count within 15 minutes. It usually takes a little longer than that with all the getting in and out of bed, shouting 'BACK TO BED' and pretending to climb the stairs to scare him back to bed. It's quite an event putting a toddler to bed!

I managed to get on top of all the washing and washing up, even if it meant putting the hoover on as white noise to stop Lills from crying. Believe me, it works! I use the hairdryer upstairs and it knocks her out too! I need to start sorting through Philly's clothes - i am going to get rid of my clothing and have hers as i just can't part with it.  Jared came home from his course and immediately worked out. I have to say, i have never sweated like that;

Yeah it's gross, but i kinda marvel at it at the same time..haha! 

P&P popped in just before bedtime to see us. They had had Cathy Powles over for dinner and just dropped her back. Despite the circumstances, it's been a real help seeing them everyday since 1st August. I feel so much closer as a family unit to them and i look forward to the day when we will all be together again. What a great day that will be. If only we could know the time and date! Hahaha. Lills the little monkey kept waking up after a few cat naps, so i had to try and type while feeding. Quite the challenge!;

 

Jared and i eventually got to bed for about 11.30ish with a wide awake Lills. Hopefully this will mean she will sleep in a bit tomorrow. Do you think Ethan will do the same? :S

I love Downton Abbey!

Another day of waking up shattered! Bubsie Lills woke up for two feeds instead of one and it has made me feel super groggy! Jared had to be in uni for 10, catching the bus at 9am. Do you think we made it? NO! As if! So i ended up driving him down to Cardiff and back. We are planning to buy some kayaks really soon - one for Jared, Pauline and Sam and then a tandem one that we will split 3 ways. That way the kids can come on with us too. Jared is really looking forward to getting them, hopefully we will be ordering before Christmas! :)
I just managed to get back in time for the health visitor to come and weigh Lills. She only gained 2 1/2oz last week - well, this week she has gained a whopping 9oz! She's now 10lb 12oz! I couldn't imagine carrying a baby that big in my tummy, i definitely felt it with carrying Lills and she was just over 8lbs. The health visitor stayed for a bit, talking about what's happened and stuff. She suggested seeing a counciller which i agreed to, but thinking about it now i don't think i need to. I have the awesome knowledge of the gospel and where she is. The hardest bit is just waiting to see her again. It still catches me in moments when i'm not doing anything and hits me all over again, like it's the first time i have heard it. I do miss her so much.

By the time the health visitor left, i only had a little bit of time to do some chores before the school run. Pauline called and said she would bring him up around 12.45pm, just before school. Lills is so good, she will lie on the floor having a kick while i get on with things.

 Washing is the biggest thing i keep falling behind on! It's amazing how one little dooty thing can create more house work! Lills is such a little angel though, even if she doesn't like to nap in the day. I love feeding her too - breastfeeding is just such a wonderful thing, and so much eaiser than bottles. I did bottles for a bit on Ethan and it was such a potch, and expensive. When Ethy arrived back, he had brought Barney bear too. Pauline had taken some lovely photo's at the park with him and printed them out to be taken back into school. He also was treated to a little go on the train;

Pauline is so good at taking photos! As we were walking out the door, I couldn't help but giggle at Ethy trying to work out how to put on the Barney bag;

Haha! I need to schedule an extra 5 minutes to get the kids in the car and keep forgetting to, so we were a little late getting into school. For some reason, for 2 days on the trot Ethan was crying to not go to school - he has always loved it and runs to get into the classroom. I don't understand it? Anyway, he settled in quickly after i slipped out. I headed up to the Ebbw Vale outlet called Festival Park. There are some fleeces up there that Jared wanted me to get, plus i can have a little time to shop without a toddler. Yipppeeee!
I didn't manage to find any fleeces, i eventually found that out that they aren't in the shop i thought they were, but i did get some stuff from Gap to sell on eBay! 99p for dresses and stuff! It's time i got back into eBay now. I have all of Philly's clothes that i was going to sell to go to the holiday fund next year, but i just can't do it. Instead, i'm going to go through all my clothes, sell most of them and keep Philly's. I just can't part with her belongings to sell to some stranger. 8 weeks ago, i never dreamed that i would be doing this.

They totally overcharged me on some items in Gap and even after having the manager confirm that it was right, they got it wrong! So i risked being late for the school run to sort it out. Thank goodness for my excellent driving skills, i got there just in time... ;) They hadn't even opened the outside gate to let us in! Relief! I had forgotten to take my phone with me, so a very disgruntled Jared met me outside, reprimanding me for not picking up the phone - when i checked my phone after i has 14 missed calls from him...opps! He had got Peter out to pick him up and he told me to meet him at his parents. Sowy Jared :(

We spent some time at his parents - i was desperately trying to sort out Sam's problem on his laptop. For some reason, we can't change the back ground on his desktop. In the end, i could only leave a blank screen and not put another photo up.Very annoying! I'm going to have to get my brother Benjy on the case, the computer pro! I couldn't be bothered to cook, so we got a subway instead on the way home. Yum! Lills sat in her carseat looking out;

Ethan played 'traintracks' after dins, evidence of the pudding at the side;

As soon as i put Lills down, Ethan is right there. It's so hard trying to protect her all the time. I have to say, having another baby has been easy, the hardest bit is dealing with the jealous toddler! The amount of times i have caught him putting his hand over her mouth, trying to sit on her, headbutting her in excitement..etc, i could really go on! Anyway, i managed to get some cute shots of them together before putting her in protective custody. Haha!;

I could just munch her up, the little gobbler!;

Just before beddies, Ethan and Daddy played the Wii - Ethan has gotten really good at playing golf. It might be his turn 3 or 4 times before daddy's one turn;

A very satisfied Lills after a feed;

 

I arranged with Pauline for her to come up to my house so we could watch 'Downton Abbey' together. We ended up watching 4 episodes! It is brilliant! I know Philly watched the first season with Pauline when it was on TV and loved it. I definitely recommend it as a watch! Jared had gone out to the Youth Convention to support and Peter went upstairs to study the scriptures, so it was a proper girls zone. Another midnight bedtime for meee! :)